I gave this speech at my Toastmasters Meeting this morning, and decided to post it to my blog in the spirit of the upcoming holiday weekend.
On July 3, 1776, John Adams wrote this to his wife, after the Continental Congress made the decision to proclaim the American colonies independent of England: “The day will be most memorable in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival…It ought to be solemnized (celebrated, honored) with pomp and parade…bonfires and illuminations (fireworks) from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore.”
My earliest childhood memories are of Independence Day parades and fireworks in the small town of Saugerties, NY. People drove for hours to participate in this little Catskill Mountain Village’s Fourth of July Celebration. It was traditional in every sense of the word, starting with a morning parade down Main Street, band performances in front of the Grand Stand, and firemen tossing candy to eager children sitting on the VERY edge of the sidewalk ready to claim the first fireball that landed within reach! I was one of those children, and cannot remember a single year growing up where my family did not participate in this patriotic event, despite my dad’s negativity about traffic, parking and crowds.
After the parade, we would find a picnic table at Cantine Field and settle in for the entire day, cooking burgers and hot dogs, eating potato salad, cotton candy, and sno-cones while watching a marathon of baseball games, listening to bands, and visiting with friends.
As a teenager, my style of celebration changed a little. I marched in the parade as a member of the High School Marching band, and instead of watching the fireworks from the security of my mother’s lap, I held hands with my boyfriend in the baseball field bleachers.
But one thing remained constant. Our town put on a fireworks display unlike any other for miles and miles. Which is why, to this day, no Fourth of July ever feels complete without seeing a great fireworks display! Or sitting in a traffic jam afterwards!
When I became a young adult and moved to Boston, the idea of missing a July Fourth Celebration back home seemed tragic. Until I discovered the Charles River Esplanade, the Boston Pops, and met my sweet husband, Bob. He and I worked on the Cambridge side of the Charles River, and for days leading up to July Fourth we’d watch from our office as the fireworks barge was prepared for the city’s celebration. And every year we’d pick one night before the Fourth to pack a picnic dinner, walk across the Longfellow Bridge, and spend the evening listening to the POPS perform classical music and Sousa marches.
Now, I have come full circle, and I am the parent. And my kids both know that parades, fireworks and patriotic music are a necessary part of our Fourth of July celebration, without question. For the last couple of years, we have participated in the patriotic celebration at the Lowe’s YMCA in Mooresville. We listen to the Lake Norman orchestra play traditional patriotic marches while enjoying a picnic dinner on the lawn of the YMCA. But my favorite part is watching the veterans march out in full uniform, carrying the flags of their military branch, while spectators young and old, salute the American flag, singing God Bless America, waving sparklers in the night. These ceremonies carry me back to my childhood like few other experiences can.
I think John Adams would be pleased with the patriotism and celebrations that many Americans participate in on July Fourth. To repeat what he stated, he said “it ought to be solemnized – which means celebrated and honored - with pomp and parade, bonfires and illuminations – or fireworks – from one end of this continent to the other." And, in fact, it is. From the east coast to the west coast, or as we like to sing, "from sea to shining sea", Americans are unified in celebrating the birth of a great nation. It is one of the rare days of the year where all Americans, conservative, liberal, and moderate, sing the same song: "this land is your land, this land is my land."
We all have a responsibility to make sure what John Adams said remains true…that it “be celebrated by succeeding generations, from this time forward forevermore.” I am committed to doing my part by instilling in my own children a sense of love and pride in their country and what it stands for. With the media coverage of today, our children are bombarded with negative talk and criticism of our nation from people abroad, and here in our own country. And for this reason, it’s important to share with them the ways real people have sacrificed their lives so WE can have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So this July Fourth Weekend, you will find us dressing ourselves, our bikes, and our home in red white and blue, enjoying patriotic music, and celebrating with friends and neighbors, so that like me, their earliest childhood memories of this day will always remind them that it is a day to set apart and honor what our brave forefathers risked by signing the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
New Resolve
I am one of those people who reject the notion of making a New Years resolution. If I were to make one, it would be to look at every day as an opportunity to learn something new, as well as an opportunity to help or teach somebody else.
I was thinking about this today while folding laundry. The last time I was folding laundry, my son was helping. He wanted to know how I got the shirts folded so neatly, and asked me to show him how I did it. So first I had him show me how he did it, and then we looked at what he needed to change in his technique to get the result he was looking for. It seems like such an insignificant act, to show a child how to fold a shirt neatly, yet it was important to him, and changed his attitude about helping me from one of frustration to one of confidence. And I didn’t just show him how I did it. First, together, we examined how he did it. That was important to him because, instead of telling him he had it all wrong and he had to relearn the entire task, I simply pointed out small changes he could make in his approach to get a better result.
What if we approached everything in life this way? Diet. Exercise. Communication. Prayer time. Parenting. Work. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by trying to achieve a certain result, it clouds our ability to see what we are doing right, and we forget that small changes in our attitude, approach, or routine can produce a completely different result. We think we have to attack a problem with all our might, rather than approach it at a steady pace and with a level head. Or, we think if we can’t get it perfectly, well, then, what’s the point of doing it at all? We run away from it, because we believe that success is measured by “all or nothing”.
I love the quote by Lou Holtz that “Ability is what you are capable of doing, Motivation determines what you do, and Attitude determines how well you do it.” Most times, when I am struggling with defeat, it all boils down to my attitude. Sometimes it’s my ability or motivation, but if I am perfectly honest with myself, those are exceptions to the rule. In the case of my son, he had the right motivation (he wanted to have a neatly folded shirt), but he needed a little help with the how to do it (his ability). But his attitude played the most important role. If he had not been willing to learn why he was not getting the desired result, nothing could change.
So maybe I will make a resolution this year after all...to adopt the practice of examining my frustrations and failures by asking myself three questions: is it my ability, my motivation, or my attitude that is getting in the way of achieving my desired outcomes?
I was thinking about this today while folding laundry. The last time I was folding laundry, my son was helping. He wanted to know how I got the shirts folded so neatly, and asked me to show him how I did it. So first I had him show me how he did it, and then we looked at what he needed to change in his technique to get the result he was looking for. It seems like such an insignificant act, to show a child how to fold a shirt neatly, yet it was important to him, and changed his attitude about helping me from one of frustration to one of confidence. And I didn’t just show him how I did it. First, together, we examined how he did it. That was important to him because, instead of telling him he had it all wrong and he had to relearn the entire task, I simply pointed out small changes he could make in his approach to get a better result.
What if we approached everything in life this way? Diet. Exercise. Communication. Prayer time. Parenting. Work. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by trying to achieve a certain result, it clouds our ability to see what we are doing right, and we forget that small changes in our attitude, approach, or routine can produce a completely different result. We think we have to attack a problem with all our might, rather than approach it at a steady pace and with a level head. Or, we think if we can’t get it perfectly, well, then, what’s the point of doing it at all? We run away from it, because we believe that success is measured by “all or nothing”.
I love the quote by Lou Holtz that “Ability is what you are capable of doing, Motivation determines what you do, and Attitude determines how well you do it.” Most times, when I am struggling with defeat, it all boils down to my attitude. Sometimes it’s my ability or motivation, but if I am perfectly honest with myself, those are exceptions to the rule. In the case of my son, he had the right motivation (he wanted to have a neatly folded shirt), but he needed a little help with the how to do it (his ability). But his attitude played the most important role. If he had not been willing to learn why he was not getting the desired result, nothing could change.
So maybe I will make a resolution this year after all...to adopt the practice of examining my frustrations and failures by asking myself three questions: is it my ability, my motivation, or my attitude that is getting in the way of achieving my desired outcomes?
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Let them know
Every once in a while, my husband has to travel for work. When he's gone for a few days, I learn a lot about myself. Some good things, some not so good. Here's a partial list:
1. I learn that I can snake a clogged toilet. I will never admit this to him upon his return, but it's good to know that if there is a plumbing emergency in his absence, I can handle it. (I actually did admit this to him the last time he traveled but thankfully when he's home he doesn't expect me to do this.)
2. I realize I don't know how to work the television. First of all, there are three remotes and only one TV. This confuses me. This might explain my recreational time on Facebook when he is away.
3. I can live within my grocery budget. Can you say breakfast for dinner?
4. I learn what actually goes on at my son's football practice. They hit, pass, run, and tackle. No wonder he comes home covered in mud and asking for ibuprofen.
5. I learn how difficult my daughter's math homework is. Enough said.
6. I am afraid of the dark. Why is it that when he's not home, I can't sleep unless there is a light on someplace? When he's home, I can't sleep if there's a light on. Weird, huh?
What I really learn is how much I take the little things for granted. Do you take anyone for granted? Let them know. It's important.
1. I learn that I can snake a clogged toilet. I will never admit this to him upon his return, but it's good to know that if there is a plumbing emergency in his absence, I can handle it. (I actually did admit this to him the last time he traveled but thankfully when he's home he doesn't expect me to do this.)
2. I realize I don't know how to work the television. First of all, there are three remotes and only one TV. This confuses me. This might explain my recreational time on Facebook when he is away.
3. I can live within my grocery budget. Can you say breakfast for dinner?
4. I learn what actually goes on at my son's football practice. They hit, pass, run, and tackle. No wonder he comes home covered in mud and asking for ibuprofen.
5. I learn how difficult my daughter's math homework is. Enough said.
6. I am afraid of the dark. Why is it that when he's not home, I can't sleep unless there is a light on someplace? When he's home, I can't sleep if there's a light on. Weird, huh?
What I really learn is how much I take the little things for granted. Do you take anyone for granted? Let them know. It's important.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Perspective
I had lunch with my good friend, Sarah Knox Bush (wife, mother, author, speaker, prayer warrior) yesterday. She later sent the quote below, and I could not keep it to myself. I had to share. It is great perspective to keep when we get overwhelmed by life's choices, our "to do" lists, and the things we know are undone at the end of the day, the week, the year. It reminds me to focus on what I have done well, my part, knowing the rest is not up to me. What freedom this brings. I hope you enjoy it too!
It helps, now & then, to step back & take the long view. The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that should be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection, no pastoral vision brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the church's mission. No set of goals & objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about. We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything & there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something & to do very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter & do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the Master Builder and the worker. We are workers, not the Master Builder, ministers, nor messiahs. We are prophets of a future that is not our own.
Oscar Romero, martyred bishop in El Salvador
It helps, now & then, to step back & take the long view. The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that should be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection, no pastoral vision brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the church's mission. No set of goals & objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about. We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything & there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something & to do very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter & do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the Master Builder and the worker. We are workers, not the Master Builder, ministers, nor messiahs. We are prophets of a future that is not our own.
Oscar Romero, martyred bishop in El Salvador
Friday, June 25, 2010
Where does the time go?
I look at my last entry and realize it was posted almost two months ago. One might look at that and think that I just have not had any “refining moments” to think or write about. But of course, that is not the case. The truth is that the months leading up to summer are such a challenge for me. It is literally May-hem. There are end of school year events, birthday parties, fathers day, piano recitals, swim practices and meets, sleepovers, music lessons, class parties, cookouts, teachers gifts to buy, yard work, school concerts, flowers to plant (and then water), 5K races to run, dentist appointments, doctors visits, camps to enroll in, weddings to attend and family to see. And before you know it, the sacred times you used to have set aside for reading and writing and praying and being quiet have been encroached upon, and viola, two months have passed.
Over the summer I do my best to put some structure into our day and set some goals for myself and our family. Most days involve a quiet time, prayer, and some form of exercise. I write in my journal a couple of days a week, but the writing I do here takes a back seat to what I am called to do over the summer; be a parent. It's the one time of year I can enjoy freedom from an alarm clock, bus catching, bell schedules and homework. Instead, the kids and I work puzzles together in the afternoon after being hot and tired from the sun, read books, watch movies, eat ice cream and drink ice coffee. We go for bike rides and walks, hit some tennis balls, and swim with friends. My “to do” list is not any shorter, and the things I want to accomplish are not less important. But for these few weeks of the year, those things take a back seat to being fully present with my kids. My “to do” list is not going anywhere, but someday, my children are. Some things appear to be moving slowly, but time is definitely not!
Over the summer I do my best to put some structure into our day and set some goals for myself and our family. Most days involve a quiet time, prayer, and some form of exercise. I write in my journal a couple of days a week, but the writing I do here takes a back seat to what I am called to do over the summer; be a parent. It's the one time of year I can enjoy freedom from an alarm clock, bus catching, bell schedules and homework. Instead, the kids and I work puzzles together in the afternoon after being hot and tired from the sun, read books, watch movies, eat ice cream and drink ice coffee. We go for bike rides and walks, hit some tennis balls, and swim with friends. My “to do” list is not any shorter, and the things I want to accomplish are not less important. But for these few weeks of the year, those things take a back seat to being fully present with my kids. My “to do” list is not going anywhere, but someday, my children are. Some things appear to be moving slowly, but time is definitely not!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
It's Not About the Outcome
I’ve learned to be selective about volunteering my time at school. If I’m not, I can quickly fill my calendar with too many commitments. You all experience the same thing, I know. Last week, I was asked to help sell tickets to a fundraising event for the middle school orchestra which my daughter plays in, so I agreed. The day before turned out to be “one of those days”, so by the time Thursday rolled around, I was a little frazzled. But, being a stickler for following through on commitments and doing what I say I am going to do, I got myself ready to go even though my heart was not in it. I had to be in several different places that morning and knew adding this one thing to the mix was going to require a lot of running from one place to the next in the span of just a couple of hours.
While working out the logistics in my head, I got the kids in the car, dropped them off at school, and headed back home only to turn around and go back to school 30 minutes later to fulfill my obligation. In front of the school there was a large, colorful banner promoting our event. I sat next to the banner with Bill, the Orchestra Director, watching cars pass us by occupied by uninterested drivers. After a few minutes, I turned to Bill and said, “What we need are some signs that say BUY TICKETS HERE so these people know why we are sitting here!” He enthusiastically jumped out of his seat and ran inside to make signs.
While he was inside, a man driving a convertible drove past me, pulled over, and got out of his car with his daughter. To get into the school, they had to walk past me, and as they did I smiled and politely asked him if he was interested in purchasing tickets for our event. He was very friendly, smiled at me, said “No thank you, but I’ll give you a donation” and pulled a $20 bill out of his wallet, handing it to me. I thought to myself, “How nice was that?” and expressed my appreciation by thanking him as he continued walking towards the school entrance.
Minutes later, Bill came out carrying two signs that read BUY TICKETS HERE. He handed one to me, and kept the other. In an effort to draw attention to our efforts (and entertain me at the same time), he began jumping in front of (stopped) cars in the carpool line, earnestly waving his sign. While it wasn’t selling many tickets, it was successful at making almost every parent driving through the carpool line laugh hysterically! He was certainly creating awareness! Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the donor from earlier exiting the building, this time alone. I told Bill about his donation, to which he responded by eagerly greeting the man and thanking him for his support. While they talked, I continued to wave my sign at friends and strangers alike, overhearing some of their conversation. When their dialogue ended and the generous donor walked back to his car, we again shouted words of thanks to him. Then, something amazing happened. He turned and waved at us, shouting “I’ll send a check for $2000.00 by way of the school for your organization.” Bill and I looked at each other, astonished, knowing very well that he was serious. And he was. Later that night, we received an e-mail from him detailing the arrangements he made to make a donation to our organization from his family’s foundation.
Now, the reason I tell this story is this. In all honesty, I was quite skeptical about the idea of selling tickets in the carpool line. The reason for my skepticism was my focus on the outcome. What I forgot to consider was this. When we show up and do our part (honor our commitments), God shows up too. And not only does He show up, He does immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine! Or said another way, He accomplishes infinitely more than we might ask or think! (Ephesians 3:20). Just another one of those moments when I’m reminded that while I am powerless over the outcome regardless of my efforts, I do serve a powerful God!
While working out the logistics in my head, I got the kids in the car, dropped them off at school, and headed back home only to turn around and go back to school 30 minutes later to fulfill my obligation. In front of the school there was a large, colorful banner promoting our event. I sat next to the banner with Bill, the Orchestra Director, watching cars pass us by occupied by uninterested drivers. After a few minutes, I turned to Bill and said, “What we need are some signs that say BUY TICKETS HERE so these people know why we are sitting here!” He enthusiastically jumped out of his seat and ran inside to make signs.
While he was inside, a man driving a convertible drove past me, pulled over, and got out of his car with his daughter. To get into the school, they had to walk past me, and as they did I smiled and politely asked him if he was interested in purchasing tickets for our event. He was very friendly, smiled at me, said “No thank you, but I’ll give you a donation” and pulled a $20 bill out of his wallet, handing it to me. I thought to myself, “How nice was that?” and expressed my appreciation by thanking him as he continued walking towards the school entrance.
Minutes later, Bill came out carrying two signs that read BUY TICKETS HERE. He handed one to me, and kept the other. In an effort to draw attention to our efforts (and entertain me at the same time), he began jumping in front of (stopped) cars in the carpool line, earnestly waving his sign. While it wasn’t selling many tickets, it was successful at making almost every parent driving through the carpool line laugh hysterically! He was certainly creating awareness! Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the donor from earlier exiting the building, this time alone. I told Bill about his donation, to which he responded by eagerly greeting the man and thanking him for his support. While they talked, I continued to wave my sign at friends and strangers alike, overhearing some of their conversation. When their dialogue ended and the generous donor walked back to his car, we again shouted words of thanks to him. Then, something amazing happened. He turned and waved at us, shouting “I’ll send a check for $2000.00 by way of the school for your organization.” Bill and I looked at each other, astonished, knowing very well that he was serious. And he was. Later that night, we received an e-mail from him detailing the arrangements he made to make a donation to our organization from his family’s foundation.
Now, the reason I tell this story is this. In all honesty, I was quite skeptical about the idea of selling tickets in the carpool line. The reason for my skepticism was my focus on the outcome. What I forgot to consider was this. When we show up and do our part (honor our commitments), God shows up too. And not only does He show up, He does immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine! Or said another way, He accomplishes infinitely more than we might ask or think! (Ephesians 3:20). Just another one of those moments when I’m reminded that while I am powerless over the outcome regardless of my efforts, I do serve a powerful God!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Supporting vs. Accusing
I was enjoying some down time today reading the news, and came across an article about the Focus on the Family Superbowl ad featuring Tim and Pam Tebow. In the ad, Pam Tebow is telling the story of her decision 23 years ago to continue a risky pregnancy against the advice of her doctors. She says that Tim almost didn’t make it into this world. Tim enters the scene, playfully, by tackling his mom. He then stands up with her, hugs her, and tells her he loves her too. It was a short and sweet ad, celebrating family.
The article I was reading included this statement from a woman’s advocacy group about the Tebow ad:
The Women's Media Center, which had objected to Focus on the Family advertising in the Super Bowl, said it was expecting a "benign" ad but not the humor. But the group's president, Jehmu Greene, said the tackle showed an undercurrent of violence against women.
Wow. You’re kidding, right? I wonder how Ms. Greene felt about Betty White being tackled in the Snickers ad.
Sometimes when we advocate for a particular cause, we become so self-absorbed we can’t tolerate anyone who has a different perspective. So we attack them. It reminds me of the story in the Matthew 12 when Jesus heals somebody on the Sabbath and is criticized for doing so because it is the Sabbath. In Matthew 12:10 is says “Looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, they [the Pharisees] asked him. ‘Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?’” But this is what we do when we’re desperately trying to hold onto something that gives us a sense of security. Because we feel threatened by an opposing viewpoint, we look for a reason, any reason, to be right, and for the other person to be wrong.
While I think the comment Ms Green made in the article regarding the commercial is ludicrous, it has given me something to think about for the next several days (weeks or years?). Where am I doing this myself? And what am I trying to hang onto using this strategy? Today, just about every decision we make – whether about educating our children (charter, private, home-school, or public), career (working outside the home, leaving work to raise children, choosing daycare), or even the kind of car we drive (SUV, hybrid, old, new) - somebody is standing by to give us advice on how to do it "right". But what’s best for one family may not be best for another. My hope is that I will be the kind of person who supports others in their choices, rather than behave like a Pharisee, looking for a reason to accuse.
The article I was reading included this statement from a woman’s advocacy group about the Tebow ad:
The Women's Media Center, which had objected to Focus on the Family advertising in the Super Bowl, said it was expecting a "benign" ad but not the humor. But the group's president, Jehmu Greene, said the tackle showed an undercurrent of violence against women.
Wow. You’re kidding, right? I wonder how Ms. Greene felt about Betty White being tackled in the Snickers ad.
Sometimes when we advocate for a particular cause, we become so self-absorbed we can’t tolerate anyone who has a different perspective. So we attack them. It reminds me of the story in the Matthew 12 when Jesus heals somebody on the Sabbath and is criticized for doing so because it is the Sabbath. In Matthew 12:10 is says “Looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, they [the Pharisees] asked him. ‘Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?’” But this is what we do when we’re desperately trying to hold onto something that gives us a sense of security. Because we feel threatened by an opposing viewpoint, we look for a reason, any reason, to be right, and for the other person to be wrong.
While I think the comment Ms Green made in the article regarding the commercial is ludicrous, it has given me something to think about for the next several days (weeks or years?). Where am I doing this myself? And what am I trying to hang onto using this strategy? Today, just about every decision we make – whether about educating our children (charter, private, home-school, or public), career (working outside the home, leaving work to raise children, choosing daycare), or even the kind of car we drive (SUV, hybrid, old, new) - somebody is standing by to give us advice on how to do it "right". But what’s best for one family may not be best for another. My hope is that I will be the kind of person who supports others in their choices, rather than behave like a Pharisee, looking for a reason to accuse.
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