I had lunch with my good friend, Sarah Knox Bush (wife, mother, author, speaker, prayer warrior) yesterday. She later sent the quote below, and I could not keep it to myself. I had to share. It is great perspective to keep when we get overwhelmed by life's choices, our "to do" lists, and the things we know are undone at the end of the day, the week, the year. It reminds me to focus on what I have done well, my part, knowing the rest is not up to me. What freedom this brings. I hope you enjoy it too!
It helps, now & then, to step back & take the long view. The Kingdom is not only beyond our efforts, it is even beyond our vision. We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work. Nothing we do is complete, which is another way of saying that the Kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that should be said. No prayer fully expresses our faith. No confession brings perfection, no pastoral vision brings wholeness. No program accomplishes the church's mission. No set of goals & objectives includes everything.
This is what we are about. We plant seeds that one day will grow. We water seeds already planted, knowing that they hold future promise. We lay foundations that will need further development. We provide yeast that produces effects beyond our capabilities.
We cannot do everything & there is a sense of liberation in realizing that. This enables us to do something & to do very well. It may be incomplete, but it is a beginning, a step along the way, an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter & do the rest.
We may never see the end results, but that is the difference between the Master Builder and the worker. We are workers, not the Master Builder, ministers, nor messiahs. We are prophets of a future that is not our own.
Oscar Romero, martyred bishop in El Salvador
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Friday, June 25, 2010
Where does the time go?
I look at my last entry and realize it was posted almost two months ago. One might look at that and think that I just have not had any “refining moments” to think or write about. But of course, that is not the case. The truth is that the months leading up to summer are such a challenge for me. It is literally May-hem. There are end of school year events, birthday parties, fathers day, piano recitals, swim practices and meets, sleepovers, music lessons, class parties, cookouts, teachers gifts to buy, yard work, school concerts, flowers to plant (and then water), 5K races to run, dentist appointments, doctors visits, camps to enroll in, weddings to attend and family to see. And before you know it, the sacred times you used to have set aside for reading and writing and praying and being quiet have been encroached upon, and viola, two months have passed.
Over the summer I do my best to put some structure into our day and set some goals for myself and our family. Most days involve a quiet time, prayer, and some form of exercise. I write in my journal a couple of days a week, but the writing I do here takes a back seat to what I am called to do over the summer; be a parent. It's the one time of year I can enjoy freedom from an alarm clock, bus catching, bell schedules and homework. Instead, the kids and I work puzzles together in the afternoon after being hot and tired from the sun, read books, watch movies, eat ice cream and drink ice coffee. We go for bike rides and walks, hit some tennis balls, and swim with friends. My “to do” list is not any shorter, and the things I want to accomplish are not less important. But for these few weeks of the year, those things take a back seat to being fully present with my kids. My “to do” list is not going anywhere, but someday, my children are. Some things appear to be moving slowly, but time is definitely not!
Over the summer I do my best to put some structure into our day and set some goals for myself and our family. Most days involve a quiet time, prayer, and some form of exercise. I write in my journal a couple of days a week, but the writing I do here takes a back seat to what I am called to do over the summer; be a parent. It's the one time of year I can enjoy freedom from an alarm clock, bus catching, bell schedules and homework. Instead, the kids and I work puzzles together in the afternoon after being hot and tired from the sun, read books, watch movies, eat ice cream and drink ice coffee. We go for bike rides and walks, hit some tennis balls, and swim with friends. My “to do” list is not any shorter, and the things I want to accomplish are not less important. But for these few weeks of the year, those things take a back seat to being fully present with my kids. My “to do” list is not going anywhere, but someday, my children are. Some things appear to be moving slowly, but time is definitely not!
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
It's Not About the Outcome
I’ve learned to be selective about volunteering my time at school. If I’m not, I can quickly fill my calendar with too many commitments. You all experience the same thing, I know. Last week, I was asked to help sell tickets to a fundraising event for the middle school orchestra which my daughter plays in, so I agreed. The day before turned out to be “one of those days”, so by the time Thursday rolled around, I was a little frazzled. But, being a stickler for following through on commitments and doing what I say I am going to do, I got myself ready to go even though my heart was not in it. I had to be in several different places that morning and knew adding this one thing to the mix was going to require a lot of running from one place to the next in the span of just a couple of hours.
While working out the logistics in my head, I got the kids in the car, dropped them off at school, and headed back home only to turn around and go back to school 30 minutes later to fulfill my obligation. In front of the school there was a large, colorful banner promoting our event. I sat next to the banner with Bill, the Orchestra Director, watching cars pass us by occupied by uninterested drivers. After a few minutes, I turned to Bill and said, “What we need are some signs that say BUY TICKETS HERE so these people know why we are sitting here!” He enthusiastically jumped out of his seat and ran inside to make signs.
While he was inside, a man driving a convertible drove past me, pulled over, and got out of his car with his daughter. To get into the school, they had to walk past me, and as they did I smiled and politely asked him if he was interested in purchasing tickets for our event. He was very friendly, smiled at me, said “No thank you, but I’ll give you a donation” and pulled a $20 bill out of his wallet, handing it to me. I thought to myself, “How nice was that?” and expressed my appreciation by thanking him as he continued walking towards the school entrance.
Minutes later, Bill came out carrying two signs that read BUY TICKETS HERE. He handed one to me, and kept the other. In an effort to draw attention to our efforts (and entertain me at the same time), he began jumping in front of (stopped) cars in the carpool line, earnestly waving his sign. While it wasn’t selling many tickets, it was successful at making almost every parent driving through the carpool line laugh hysterically! He was certainly creating awareness! Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the donor from earlier exiting the building, this time alone. I told Bill about his donation, to which he responded by eagerly greeting the man and thanking him for his support. While they talked, I continued to wave my sign at friends and strangers alike, overhearing some of their conversation. When their dialogue ended and the generous donor walked back to his car, we again shouted words of thanks to him. Then, something amazing happened. He turned and waved at us, shouting “I’ll send a check for $2000.00 by way of the school for your organization.” Bill and I looked at each other, astonished, knowing very well that he was serious. And he was. Later that night, we received an e-mail from him detailing the arrangements he made to make a donation to our organization from his family’s foundation.
Now, the reason I tell this story is this. In all honesty, I was quite skeptical about the idea of selling tickets in the carpool line. The reason for my skepticism was my focus on the outcome. What I forgot to consider was this. When we show up and do our part (honor our commitments), God shows up too. And not only does He show up, He does immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine! Or said another way, He accomplishes infinitely more than we might ask or think! (Ephesians 3:20). Just another one of those moments when I’m reminded that while I am powerless over the outcome regardless of my efforts, I do serve a powerful God!
While working out the logistics in my head, I got the kids in the car, dropped them off at school, and headed back home only to turn around and go back to school 30 minutes later to fulfill my obligation. In front of the school there was a large, colorful banner promoting our event. I sat next to the banner with Bill, the Orchestra Director, watching cars pass us by occupied by uninterested drivers. After a few minutes, I turned to Bill and said, “What we need are some signs that say BUY TICKETS HERE so these people know why we are sitting here!” He enthusiastically jumped out of his seat and ran inside to make signs.
While he was inside, a man driving a convertible drove past me, pulled over, and got out of his car with his daughter. To get into the school, they had to walk past me, and as they did I smiled and politely asked him if he was interested in purchasing tickets for our event. He was very friendly, smiled at me, said “No thank you, but I’ll give you a donation” and pulled a $20 bill out of his wallet, handing it to me. I thought to myself, “How nice was that?” and expressed my appreciation by thanking him as he continued walking towards the school entrance.
Minutes later, Bill came out carrying two signs that read BUY TICKETS HERE. He handed one to me, and kept the other. In an effort to draw attention to our efforts (and entertain me at the same time), he began jumping in front of (stopped) cars in the carpool line, earnestly waving his sign. While it wasn’t selling many tickets, it was successful at making almost every parent driving through the carpool line laugh hysterically! He was certainly creating awareness! Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the donor from earlier exiting the building, this time alone. I told Bill about his donation, to which he responded by eagerly greeting the man and thanking him for his support. While they talked, I continued to wave my sign at friends and strangers alike, overhearing some of their conversation. When their dialogue ended and the generous donor walked back to his car, we again shouted words of thanks to him. Then, something amazing happened. He turned and waved at us, shouting “I’ll send a check for $2000.00 by way of the school for your organization.” Bill and I looked at each other, astonished, knowing very well that he was serious. And he was. Later that night, we received an e-mail from him detailing the arrangements he made to make a donation to our organization from his family’s foundation.
Now, the reason I tell this story is this. In all honesty, I was quite skeptical about the idea of selling tickets in the carpool line. The reason for my skepticism was my focus on the outcome. What I forgot to consider was this. When we show up and do our part (honor our commitments), God shows up too. And not only does He show up, He does immeasurably more than we could ever ask or imagine! Or said another way, He accomplishes infinitely more than we might ask or think! (Ephesians 3:20). Just another one of those moments when I’m reminded that while I am powerless over the outcome regardless of my efforts, I do serve a powerful God!
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Supporting vs. Accusing
I was enjoying some down time today reading the news, and came across an article about the Focus on the Family Superbowl ad featuring Tim and Pam Tebow. In the ad, Pam Tebow is telling the story of her decision 23 years ago to continue a risky pregnancy against the advice of her doctors. She says that Tim almost didn’t make it into this world. Tim enters the scene, playfully, by tackling his mom. He then stands up with her, hugs her, and tells her he loves her too. It was a short and sweet ad, celebrating family.
The article I was reading included this statement from a woman’s advocacy group about the Tebow ad:
The Women's Media Center, which had objected to Focus on the Family advertising in the Super Bowl, said it was expecting a "benign" ad but not the humor. But the group's president, Jehmu Greene, said the tackle showed an undercurrent of violence against women.
Wow. You’re kidding, right? I wonder how Ms. Greene felt about Betty White being tackled in the Snickers ad.
Sometimes when we advocate for a particular cause, we become so self-absorbed we can’t tolerate anyone who has a different perspective. So we attack them. It reminds me of the story in the Matthew 12 when Jesus heals somebody on the Sabbath and is criticized for doing so because it is the Sabbath. In Matthew 12:10 is says “Looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, they [the Pharisees] asked him. ‘Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?’” But this is what we do when we’re desperately trying to hold onto something that gives us a sense of security. Because we feel threatened by an opposing viewpoint, we look for a reason, any reason, to be right, and for the other person to be wrong.
While I think the comment Ms Green made in the article regarding the commercial is ludicrous, it has given me something to think about for the next several days (weeks or years?). Where am I doing this myself? And what am I trying to hang onto using this strategy? Today, just about every decision we make – whether about educating our children (charter, private, home-school, or public), career (working outside the home, leaving work to raise children, choosing daycare), or even the kind of car we drive (SUV, hybrid, old, new) - somebody is standing by to give us advice on how to do it "right". But what’s best for one family may not be best for another. My hope is that I will be the kind of person who supports others in their choices, rather than behave like a Pharisee, looking for a reason to accuse.
The article I was reading included this statement from a woman’s advocacy group about the Tebow ad:
The Women's Media Center, which had objected to Focus on the Family advertising in the Super Bowl, said it was expecting a "benign" ad but not the humor. But the group's president, Jehmu Greene, said the tackle showed an undercurrent of violence against women.
Wow. You’re kidding, right? I wonder how Ms. Greene felt about Betty White being tackled in the Snickers ad.
Sometimes when we advocate for a particular cause, we become so self-absorbed we can’t tolerate anyone who has a different perspective. So we attack them. It reminds me of the story in the Matthew 12 when Jesus heals somebody on the Sabbath and is criticized for doing so because it is the Sabbath. In Matthew 12:10 is says “Looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, they [the Pharisees] asked him. ‘Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath?’” But this is what we do when we’re desperately trying to hold onto something that gives us a sense of security. Because we feel threatened by an opposing viewpoint, we look for a reason, any reason, to be right, and for the other person to be wrong.
While I think the comment Ms Green made in the article regarding the commercial is ludicrous, it has given me something to think about for the next several days (weeks or years?). Where am I doing this myself? And what am I trying to hang onto using this strategy? Today, just about every decision we make – whether about educating our children (charter, private, home-school, or public), career (working outside the home, leaving work to raise children, choosing daycare), or even the kind of car we drive (SUV, hybrid, old, new) - somebody is standing by to give us advice on how to do it "right". But what’s best for one family may not be best for another. My hope is that I will be the kind of person who supports others in their choices, rather than behave like a Pharisee, looking for a reason to accuse.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Room for Improvement
Laundry! I just did FIVE loads of laundry, and the baskets are overflowing again with MORE laundry. Sometimes I think the never ending chore of doing laundry is the real curse resulting from The Fall. I mean really…childbirth pains? That’s what epidurals are for! Before Eve ate that apple, she and Adam were prancing around the garden in their birthday suits and all the happier for it. Now, we have to shop for, try on, pay for, wear, and wash all these clothes! Not only that, but we have to worry about whether they’re in style, the right color, fit right, or if they’ll still fit us after the holidays! And let’s not forget worrying about whether or not they are from the right store!
My rant over laundry reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a couple of years back: it’s all about perspective. As a full time working mom, she “enjoyed” doing laundry. Really? Enjoyed? She got my attention! She told me she used that time to be reminded of the little joys in her life. She loved holding up the size 2T jeans, amazed at how much her son had grown while, at the same time, marveling that any human being could fit into pants so tiny. Sometimes it reminded her to pray for her children, her family or spouse. And others it conjured up memories of a time she enjoyed with her son when he was in those very jeans, or of the good friend who gave her the jeans as a gift.
I try to carry that attitude with me when I am stuck in what I feel is the mundane, one of finding simple pleasures. Really, this is a posture of worship. But it’s easy to slip into the habit of taking things for granted. Until something catastrophic happens. Something like an earthquake strong enough to destroy an entire city, leaving multitudes of people without basic necessities. It snaps me out of “it”, auto pilot, me centeredness. It reminds me to ask the questions that can get pushed aside in the day to day busyness of life. Am I doing enough to help others? Are my children being exposed to enough opportunities to serve others? Am I giving thanks in ALL things to the One from whom ALL blessings flow? As my children’s swim coach would say, “The largest room in the world is room for improvement.” He also says that the first step in improving is recognizing that it's needed. Who exactly is he coaching anyway?
My rant over laundry reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend a couple of years back: it’s all about perspective. As a full time working mom, she “enjoyed” doing laundry. Really? Enjoyed? She got my attention! She told me she used that time to be reminded of the little joys in her life. She loved holding up the size 2T jeans, amazed at how much her son had grown while, at the same time, marveling that any human being could fit into pants so tiny. Sometimes it reminded her to pray for her children, her family or spouse. And others it conjured up memories of a time she enjoyed with her son when he was in those very jeans, or of the good friend who gave her the jeans as a gift.
I try to carry that attitude with me when I am stuck in what I feel is the mundane, one of finding simple pleasures. Really, this is a posture of worship. But it’s easy to slip into the habit of taking things for granted. Until something catastrophic happens. Something like an earthquake strong enough to destroy an entire city, leaving multitudes of people without basic necessities. It snaps me out of “it”, auto pilot, me centeredness. It reminds me to ask the questions that can get pushed aside in the day to day busyness of life. Am I doing enough to help others? Are my children being exposed to enough opportunities to serve others? Am I giving thanks in ALL things to the One from whom ALL blessings flow? As my children’s swim coach would say, “The largest room in the world is room for improvement.” He also says that the first step in improving is recognizing that it's needed. Who exactly is he coaching anyway?
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Unexpected Gifts
This morning, I was getting the kids ready for school, running through the things I had to do, and saw my Advent Devotional and Bible sitting on my coffee table next to the couch where I normally spend my quiet time. I thought to myself, “I wish I didn’t have so much to do today so I could just sit and read, pray, and have some quiet time with God.” When I arrived at my daughter’s school, she remembered that she had forgotten her project…due today. Oh yeah, and her lunch too. For some people, not a big deal, (“Just buy lunch today honey!”), but for us, because of special diet restrictions, it meant a trip back home for her lunch (and project while I was at it). So I dropped her off, turned around and headed home, sort of wondering to myself if maybe I had my priorities all wrong today. I got home, grabbed what I needed, and then headed back to school. But instead of heading straight there, I took a detour to Starbucks. After getting back into my car with my favorite coffee beverage in hand (grande extra hot non-fat latte with one splenda), it wouldn’t start. Enter Triple A, who tells me my starter is dead, gets my car started, and sends me on my way. After leaving the project and lunch at school (leaving the car running) and arriving at the Honda dealer, I learn that I will not have transportation again until the next day. There goes that “to do” list, right out the window. Once home, sitting on the sofa with my devotional, Bible and journal, I thought, sometimes God delivers things in the most unexpected ways…freedom from a "to do" list by way of no transportation…and freedom from a life apart from Him by way of a virgin, a baby, and a manger.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Forgetfulness
Our church small group is studying temperaments in an effort to better understand those in our lives, the goal being to have stronger marriages, be better parents, and serve those we love more effectively by being aware of and respecting the differences in our temperaments. Maybe you’ve met the four temperaments…Sanguine, Choleric, Melancholy, and Phlegmatic. To discover which temperament you possess, you are given a scoring sheet which contains groups of words, four in each group, and asked to choose one word from each group that best describes you. For example, are you Playful, Persuasive, Persistent, or Peaceful? Are you Demonstrative, Decisive, Deep, or Dry Humor? Not only does it give you a list of strengths to choose from, but also a list of weaknesses…which, of course, we all like to avoid thinking about. Are you Brassy, Bossy, Bashful, or Blank? I wasn’t sure what it meant to be blank… so I assumed it did not apply to me. (I learned it meant showing no attention, interest, or emotion. Seriously, I had to look that up because it seemed so obvious I figured I had it wrong.) My favorite group is, are you Forgetful, Frank, Fussy, or Fearful? Hmmm. How about all four depending on the circumstances?
I had to think about that one. Am I forgetful? I can’t remember the last time I forgot something. But of course, if I remembered forgetting it, does that count? But seriously, I must admit, this is one of my weaknesses. Let’s take birthdays, for example. Unless you live with me, you should never expect to receive your birthday card on time. I just don’t remember birthdays. Now people tell me there are things you can use to remember things like that…they are called calendars. But, here’s the problem with that. You have to remember to look at the calendar, and there are days that I forget to do that! But what about electronic reminders…things you can set up in your Outlook tickler file, or on an internet service or Facebook? Well, that would speak to one of my other areas of weakness…being haphazard, which means characterized by lack of order or planning, by irregularity, or by randomness.
So in doing this exercise, I tried to think of one good aspect of being forgetful (motivated by the need to feel better about myself…you know that old cliche about presenting your weaknesses as strengths in job interviews?). And I found one. I don’t hold grudges, or put another way, I am quick to forgive and forget. I mean, to hold a grudge, you have to remember what somebody did to hurt you…and so suddenly, being forgetful becomes a plus! Sticking with the birthday example, I usually don’t remember or notice who forgets my birthday (unless he is married to me), but am deeply touched when somebody remembers. Which I guess is why I really need to work harder at remembering these things, because it makes others feel loved. But just for the record, if I forget it’s your birthday, it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because of my temperament. Of course, that’s not an excuse…but it is a reality…one that makes me even more grateful for grace and forgiveness.
I had to think about that one. Am I forgetful? I can’t remember the last time I forgot something. But of course, if I remembered forgetting it, does that count? But seriously, I must admit, this is one of my weaknesses. Let’s take birthdays, for example. Unless you live with me, you should never expect to receive your birthday card on time. I just don’t remember birthdays. Now people tell me there are things you can use to remember things like that…they are called calendars. But, here’s the problem with that. You have to remember to look at the calendar, and there are days that I forget to do that! But what about electronic reminders…things you can set up in your Outlook tickler file, or on an internet service or Facebook? Well, that would speak to one of my other areas of weakness…being haphazard, which means characterized by lack of order or planning, by irregularity, or by randomness.
So in doing this exercise, I tried to think of one good aspect of being forgetful (motivated by the need to feel better about myself…you know that old cliche about presenting your weaknesses as strengths in job interviews?). And I found one. I don’t hold grudges, or put another way, I am quick to forgive and forget. I mean, to hold a grudge, you have to remember what somebody did to hurt you…and so suddenly, being forgetful becomes a plus! Sticking with the birthday example, I usually don’t remember or notice who forgets my birthday (unless he is married to me), but am deeply touched when somebody remembers. Which I guess is why I really need to work harder at remembering these things, because it makes others feel loved. But just for the record, if I forget it’s your birthday, it’s not because I don’t love you. It’s because of my temperament. Of course, that’s not an excuse…but it is a reality…one that makes me even more grateful for grace and forgiveness.
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