Remembering Freedom's Cost

I gave this speech at my Toastmasters Meeting this morning, and decided to post it to my blog in the spirit of the upcoming holiday weekend.

On July 3, 1776, John Adams wrote this to his wife, after the Continental Congress made the decision to proclaim the American colonies independent of England: “The day will be most memorable in the history of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival…It ought to be solemnized (celebrated, honored) with pomp and parade…bonfires and illuminations (fireworks) from one end of this continent to the other, from this time forward forevermore.”

My earliest childhood memories are of Independence Day parades and fireworks in the small town of Saugerties, NY. People drove for hours to participate in this little Catskill Mountain Village’s Fourth of July Celebration. It was traditional in every sense of the word, starting with a morning parade down Main Street, band performances in front of the Grand Stand, and firemen tossing candy to eager children sitting on the VERY edge of the sidewalk ready to claim the first fireball that landed within reach! I was one of those children, and cannot remember a single year growing up where my family did not participate in this patriotic event, despite my dad’s negativity about traffic, parking and crowds.

After the parade, we would find a picnic table at Cantine Field and settle in for the entire day, cooking burgers and hot dogs, eating potato salad, cotton candy, and sno-cones while watching a marathon of baseball games, listening to bands, and visiting with friends.

As a teenager, my style of celebration changed a little. I marched in the parade as a member of the High School Marching band, and instead of watching the fireworks from the security of my mother’s lap, I held hands with my boyfriend in the baseball field bleachers.

But one thing remained constant. Our town put on a fireworks display unlike any other for miles and miles. Which is why, to this day, no Fourth of July ever feels complete without seeing a great fireworks display! Or sitting in a traffic jam afterwards!

When I became a young adult and moved to Boston, the idea of missing a July Fourth Celebration back home seemed tragic. Until I discovered the Charles River Esplanade, the Boston Pops, and met my sweet husband, Bob. He and I worked on the Cambridge side of the Charles River, and for days leading up to July Fourth we’d watch from our office as the fireworks barge was prepared for the city’s celebration. And every year we’d pick one night before the Fourth to pack a picnic dinner, walk across the Longfellow Bridge, and spend the evening listening to the POPS perform classical music and Sousa marches.

Now, I have come full circle, and I am the parent. And my kids both know that parades, fireworks and patriotic music are a necessary part of our Fourth of July celebration, without question. For the last couple of years, we have participated in the patriotic celebration at the Lowe’s YMCA in Mooresville. We listen to the Lake Norman orchestra play traditional patriotic marches while enjoying a picnic dinner on the lawn of the YMCA. But my favorite part is watching the veterans march out in full uniform, carrying the flags of their military branch, while spectators young and old, salute the American flag, singing God Bless America, waving sparklers in the night. These ceremonies carry me back to my childhood like few other experiences can.

I think John Adams would be pleased with the patriotism and celebrations that many Americans participate in on July Fourth. To repeat what he stated, he said “it ought to be solemnized – which means celebrated and honored - with pomp and parade, bonfires and illuminations – or fireworks – from one end of this continent to the other." And, in fact, it is. From the east coast to the west coast, or as we like to sing, "from sea to shining sea", Americans are unified in celebrating the birth of a great nation. It is one of the rare days of the year where all Americans, conservative, liberal, and moderate, sing the same song: "this land is your land, this land is my land."

We all have a responsibility to make sure what John Adams said remains true…that it “be celebrated by succeeding generations, from this time forward forevermore.” I am committed to doing my part by instilling in my own children a sense of love and pride in their country and what it stands for. With the media coverage of today, our children are bombarded with negative talk and criticism of our nation from people abroad, and here in our own country. And for this reason, it’s important to share with them the ways real people have sacrificed their lives so WE can have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. So this July Fourth Weekend, you will find us dressing ourselves, our bikes, and our home in red white and blue, enjoying patriotic music, and celebrating with friends and neighbors, so that like me, their earliest childhood memories of this day will always remind them that it is a day to set apart and honor what our brave forefathers risked by signing the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.

New Resolve

I am one of those people who reject the notion of making a New Years resolution. If I were to make one, it would be to look at every day as an opportunity to learn something new, as well as an opportunity to help or teach somebody else.

I was thinking about this today while folding laundry. The last time I was folding laundry, my son was helping. He wanted to know how I got the shirts folded so neatly, and asked me to show him how I did it. So first I had him show me how he did it, and then we looked at what he needed to change in his technique to get the result he was looking for. It seems like such an insignificant act, to show a child how to fold a shirt neatly, yet it was important to him, and changed his attitude about helping me from one of frustration to one of confidence. And I didn’t just show him how I did it. First, together, we examined how he did it. That was important to him because, instead of telling him he had it all wrong and he had to relearn the entire task, I simply pointed out small changes he could make in his approach to get a better result.

What if we approached everything in life this way? Diet. Exercise. Communication. Prayer time. Parenting. Work. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by trying to achieve a certain result, it clouds our ability to see what we are doing right, and we forget that small changes in our attitude, approach, or routine can produce a completely different result. We think we have to attack a problem with all our might, rather than approach it at a steady pace and with a level head. Or, we think if we can’t get it perfectly, well, then, what’s the point of doing it at all? We run away from it, because we believe that success is measured by “all or nothing”.

I love the quote by Lou Holtz that “Ability is what you are capable of doing, Motivation determines what you do, and Attitude determines how well you do it.” Most times, when I am struggling with defeat, it all boils down to my attitude. Sometimes it’s my ability or motivation, but if I am perfectly honest with myself, those are exceptions to the rule. In the case of my son, he had the right motivation (he wanted to have a neatly folded shirt), but he needed a little help with the how to do it (his ability). But his attitude played the most important role. If he had not been willing to learn why he was not getting the desired result, nothing could change.

So maybe I will make a resolution this year after all...to adopt the practice of examining my frustrations and failures by asking myself three questions: is it my ability, my motivation, or my attitude that is getting in the way of achieving my desired outcomes?