New Resolve

I am one of those people who reject the notion of making a New Years resolution. If I were to make one, it would be to look at every day as an opportunity to learn something new, as well as an opportunity to help or teach somebody else.

I was thinking about this today while folding laundry. The last time I was folding laundry, my son was helping. He wanted to know how I got the shirts folded so neatly, and asked me to show him how I did it. So first I had him show me how he did it, and then we looked at what he needed to change in his technique to get the result he was looking for. It seems like such an insignificant act, to show a child how to fold a shirt neatly, yet it was important to him, and changed his attitude about helping me from one of frustration to one of confidence. And I didn’t just show him how I did it. First, together, we examined how he did it. That was important to him because, instead of telling him he had it all wrong and he had to relearn the entire task, I simply pointed out small changes he could make in his approach to get a better result.

What if we approached everything in life this way? Diet. Exercise. Communication. Prayer time. Parenting. Work. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed by trying to achieve a certain result, it clouds our ability to see what we are doing right, and we forget that small changes in our attitude, approach, or routine can produce a completely different result. We think we have to attack a problem with all our might, rather than approach it at a steady pace and with a level head. Or, we think if we can’t get it perfectly, well, then, what’s the point of doing it at all? We run away from it, because we believe that success is measured by “all or nothing”.

I love the quote by Lou Holtz that “Ability is what you are capable of doing, Motivation determines what you do, and Attitude determines how well you do it.” Most times, when I am struggling with defeat, it all boils down to my attitude. Sometimes it’s my ability or motivation, but if I am perfectly honest with myself, those are exceptions to the rule. In the case of my son, he had the right motivation (he wanted to have a neatly folded shirt), but he needed a little help with the how to do it (his ability). But his attitude played the most important role. If he had not been willing to learn why he was not getting the desired result, nothing could change.

So maybe I will make a resolution this year after all...to adopt the practice of examining my frustrations and failures by asking myself three questions: is it my ability, my motivation, or my attitude that is getting in the way of achieving my desired outcomes?